Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Falling in love at first sight.

 Falling in love at first sight is one of the best experiences of a life time for anyone. It feels so magical and strange. When you face that moment, not only your mind, but also your body feels strange. But, is that feeling really a love?

Suppose, you go to a party and just sitting around. all of a sudden  someone is beside you, and offering to get you a drink. Then you feel strange comfort and begin to talk. Here after  you're struck by the emotional feeling that, you have just found Mr. Right. Or you see a nice girl staring at you with a innocent catchy smile, you think you just found the Miss. Right for you.   But that's crazy, isn't it? Or is it? But this happens most of the time. And it is ended up with long lasting wild romance perhaps. So…fist site love is that much strong sometimes.

Hence…Many think that is the real love. Because, when we just saw a person on the very first time, we don’t know anything about them. Do they educate or do they have money or at least Do they like us? How old are they? We don’t know anything, but we feel love about them. So it’s only love. Nothing is there, in between us only a feeling of love. So, isn’t it real love? 

But few think, it’s not real love at the very first sight, but it’s only a desire, about that person. If you think deeper about this, can this handsome, deep-voiced, well-dressed strange man or pretty lady with the perfect figure, give you what you really want for your life? Because we don’t know anything about them, they don’t know who we are? They don’t know anything about us. But still we love means, only a feeling of desire about that person. Desire is not the true love, perhaps if we get to know about theses starngers some, maybe we escape from them. 
Beside all of the above, its better to see whether, “is there any mechanism for this love at first site?” Not all of us fall in love within few seconds. In one survey by Ayala Malach-Pines, PhD, of Ben-Gurion University in Israel, only 11 percent of the 493 respondents said their long-term relationships started that way. Further, it has been seen in studies that men are more likely to falling in love immediately than women. It seems like men are more stimulated by visual appeal than women. On the other hand, women experience romantic chemistry a lot better than men. It means, Men know they like a woman the very second they see her. But in the case of women, they usually fall in love with someone after the one or two conversations. And, Do you know that your first kiss also affect your love? Studies have shown that the exchange of saliva can also be a test for love. When you kiss, genes of major histocompatibility complex get exchanged between two persons, and if your genes share too many similarities, you might actually get turned off and lose the attraction, says Dr. Claus Wedekind at the University of Edinburg. And it’s not just the kisses, your body odor too can predict whether you will experience love at first sight.

So what do you think? Falling in love at first sight is real love?

Saturday, April 13, 2013

Why do we Love?

Falling in love is a wonderful experience which happens between two people. But, have you ever thought, why do people fall in love? And for what?

There may be many answers for this question. But the main reason and the natural reason is as follows.  If you think deeply, Love is the main factor for evolution of the mankind. Why do we say so? When we grow up, our body is changing physically as well as chemically. All these factors lead us to reproduction. But as a civilized human we are unable to do it everywhere, or with every person like animals do. To avoid such uncivilized behaviors, we are blessed with the feeling called “Love”. So the first step is to find a proper person to love. Afterwards two people fall in love. If everything goes in a proper manner, next step in love is to get married. (Or live together as has been happening in ancient era and still). After marriage, if everything goes perfect as expected, next step is to have babies. That’s what the nature expects from us. So simply, people are falling in love and produce another human being (simply known as reproduction). When we help continue our evolution on this earth, naturally we are benefited by the pleasure and happiness for being loved. That is the practical concern for all of us, i.e.  Happiness and Pleasure. To gain this happiness and pleasure, we engage in the process of loving.  In a way, love means the bait, which put in to us by nature, for evolution of mankind... All of us want to swallow this bait happily. And the other fascinating part is that we couldn’t do reproduction at all ages, effectively. We do it effectively, during age range from 16 to 50 years in the same manner as many of people do love effectively, during these ages. So these two factors are going together for continuation of the evolution of mankind.

Other reason is that, as humans we can’t live alone. We need others’ company. When you think about the human race, from the very beginning, humans lived as groups. When evolution happened continuously, in very long time period, and at the same time, people were being civilized; these groups became smaller and smaller until two people were formed as sub groups. It’s simply a couple. So within the group, there were subgroups and, they were called families. At the same time our thinking power, activities were eventually increased. Always we wanted a perfect partner for sharing   things, like: ideas, activities, feelings etc. When this happens throughout for a long period, that requirement became a norm, for every human being’s natively.  That’s why we seek a proper partner always, for sharing our feelings and activities. When we find a suitable person for this process, we say “I love you”. Then intimacy gets building eventually between these couples. Further, when time lapses we become aged and our outlook forms gray. Therefore we need some company to spend our aged life. We need some assistance from one another mutually. If we have a partner we could help each other to spend our aged life, more easily without getting isolated. But, as a young couple, we never felt and acted in that way. Nature gives us all the chances to spend out life well in numerous ways, at different stages in our lives. As a baby and a child, our parents would care us. Subsequently, as an adult, we could care each other as a couple. So love and intimacy is one secret way to protect us. We feel love as a feeling, and in this way it’s a guardian for our entire life and it would care us, for mental and physical wellbeing. Hence “Love and affection” is a “sine qua none” for our short lived life.

Friday, April 5, 2013

True Love and suspicious mind

Sometime we suspect our loved one badly, though we love each other very much. Most of the relationships break due to suspects’ without any kind of real suspicious things, just for imaginations.

There may be few reasons for that. So the main reason are, suppose, we do love someone so much, so we scare to lose them. In that case, it happened due to not having a trust in the relationship. On The other hand, it happened due to the desire about the person. Unfaithfulness and desire are the main reasons for suspicious minds. Mainly, if we have only desire but not love, this will happen. If you do love really for your partner, same time, if you keep in trust for each other, you’ll never face that type of situation. Most of the people realize, desire as the true love. If you really do love for someone, you don’t keep much desire about them, means already you lost the right for them and you don’t have anything to lose again and never accept anything from them. Real love is only a giving. When other person do the same, it will be perfect. So you do love your lover as much as you can. And keep trust in your partner. You’ll never suspect about them.

Other important thing is, if we do love really for someone, we must give them freedom as much as they want. I have seen that, there are boys who do not allow for their girls to even dress as they like. those boys think, their girls must do everything according to their desires. Some girls never let their boyfriends to go with his friends and enjoy.  So do you see any love in there? It’s not a love. It’s only a desire and its slavery. In a way like that, you always suspect you partner. Because, you always think, your partner may do any wrong thing without knowing you. Freedom is a vital concern in a perfect relationship. Give freedom as much as they want. And let them know, about your like and unlike. If they really love you, they never do any wrong to make sad in you. But if they utilize their unlimited freedom as chances to do wrong, please allow them to go away. Coz’ one day or another, certainly they leave you. Never regret about them. Consider it as a blessing instead. True love will never leave us.

Another fact for People suspects their partner is jealousy. If your partner is much beautiful or handsome, if he is a smart than you, if he has more money than you, or more attractive than you, so naturally it’s making jealousy in your mind. And the same time you think, they may go with someone else, because you are not worth for them. You do self de-evaluate about yourself. In case of that, you may have inferiority complex in your mind. That is kind of a mental illness. And the other worse thing is, if one person is giving much freedom and love really, for his or her partner, but the other person is doing only, Suspects but nothing, It’s not gonna work out. And the other person thinks, “Though I love her so much, still she suspects me, so my love is nothing in her”. Then what happen is, eventually it will lead to separation from each other.